We had a rule in my family about lies. Off course lying was unacceptable, but white lies were exempt. In fact they were encouraged. My Grandpa, otherwise very virtuous and strict, was also of the mindset that what you don’t know doesn’t hurt you. And I was privy to mostly nothing. So to sum up I was not to lie, unless for the greater good and about something harmless, not to know about much and not to ask about the rest.

Which of course led me to be an exceptionally observant individual. I can scan the situation and know mostly everything about anything. My husband thought I was a trained spy when we first met. I think he just secretly wished I was. Just like he still tells people I am 26.

I just threw that in to brag a little. What I was trying to say is that I am a product of a very failed system. So you would think that I would bypass it as a parent, since I have proved it to be nonfunctional. Not to mention, my son surpasses me in math at the age of three. Is there possibly anything I can lie about or hide from him without being caught? Seems I keep thinking there is.

Example 1:

Little J likes to help me bake, so we make muffins. Mostly all bran. Except I call them cupcakes. Of course his teacher Mrs. Ada makes cupcakes too, for special occasions. Real cupcakes. Frosting and all.

Busted!

So these days when I ask if we should make some cupcakes Little J says: “The ones with no white stuff on?” No thanks, let’s make cookies.”

Example 2:

Little J likes me to stay with him after his bedtime story. Not until he falls a sleep, but not quite a NY minute either. Sometimes I try to sneak out and get a sleepy “Not yet Mama”. Sometimes I come up with pathetic ones, like I’ll go put my PJ’s on and come back.

Busted!

Little J standing by my bed at 2AM asking if I am not wearing my PJ’s.

Example 3:

I got him a whale rescue boat for Christmas. It is one of those toys you would never consider, until you get to know your child and what makes him happy. I think they used the same figurines from the Somali pirates set. So they came with binoculars, knives and guns. I hid the guns. Don’t know why I did not throw them away. Little J finds them off course.

Busted!

Asks me what they are for. I tell him it’s for the marine biologist to administer a sedative so they can safely tag the orca.

Busted!

He comes back from school where his buddy had a Transformers gun for show and tell. Apparently he was very helpful during Q&A session. Thank you five year old whom my child looks up to.

I could go on but you get the picture. Honesty is the best policy if you don’t wont your child to view YOU as a three year old. Don’t you think?