Tag Archives: motherhood

Parenting advice

When daddy is away TV is on play.

It has become a bit of a ritual for Little J and I. In the evening, before bedtime we snuggle up and watch a documentary. We are not really TV watchers, specially me. So I guess it feels extra special for my son to lounge on the couch tucked under a blanket with me. Because we watched some documentaries on wildlife in Alaska Netflix suggested we might like ‘Out of the wild’ series. We watched the first season where they dropped some folks off in Alaska to fend for themselves and I am pleased to report my six year old had better ideas on how to find food and shelter then most of those adults. Yesterday we finished watching the second. I am not sure how educational it is for my son to watch a show with a bunch of people struggling to survive and hike out of the wilderness of Venezuela but hey, we like it.

As they finally made it to civilization the survivors were greeted by their families and friends. Little J noticed how the tough guys were hugging their moms and he told me I will always be his mommy, no matter how old he is and how long he can survive in the wild. It made my day.

We started talking about children and he announced he will have two.

Me: Why two?

Little J: Cause it’s a fair and share number. Also they will have each other to play with so they won’t bug me like I always bug you.

Me: I like playing with you.

Little J: I know, but I will probably be too busy when I have kids.

Me: I am very busy too. But you can never be too busy you know.

Little J: Also I will not buy them more then 11 toys. I sure don’t want to spend too much time tidying them up.

Me: What are you taking about? You never tidy toys now. I clean up all the LEGOs all the time.

Little J: Exactly. No way I am doing that!

Me: Oh really? What else will you do differently with your kids?

Little J: I will make them play outside in the garden every day. So I can have some peace and quiet.

Me: I see.

Little J: And I will teach them how to survive in the wild. Just in case.

Me: In case of what?

Little J: I want to go on vacation with my wife.

Me: Well that’s what grandmas are for. I can help you with your kids so that you can go on vacation.

Little J: Nah. Cause I will come to see you on my vacation.

My grandkids might be hunting their own food in the forest but my son will be my baby forever. I love my kid.

Posted in The Great life | Also tagged , 11 Comments

Help, my son is a teenager

We are in the midst of a major crisis.

In fact I think it is safe to say I have unwillingly entered midlife crisis. Due to no fault of my own, specially since I am barely in my thirties. I planned well and knew this would happen once I have a teen living in my house but seeing how I had my son in my twenties ( last month of my twenties, but it counts) it was all going to align perfectly. Stop calculating my age and pay attention please.

This all started innocently enough. A few months ago Little J drew a big, fancy X and stuck that paper onto his door. Apparently we were to enter his bedroom by invitation only. A bit strange for a five year old, but I can live with it. Then he started questioning the meaning of life. He kept saying he wished he was never born because we will all die anyway so why bother. Rather odd kind of suffering for someone at such tender age, but I am sure he is not the first. Then he decided he can do absolutely everything all on his own. Which is all very well except we are always running late and this pushed us from fashionably to extremely late. After that he proclaimed he is becoming a vegetarian. Next followed more darkness and gloom that is his life. If you ask him what is wrong he says nothing. Except he knows for a fact that there is no happiness in his future…

Few weeks ago he told me all he wants to do is stay in bed and do nothing all day. Now if that is not a teen thing to do nothing is. I panicked. Then my husband and I sat down and pondered. We decided we will give him a day off where he can stay in his pajamas and do absolutely nothing at all. We were convinced that he will see how utterly boring this is and never ask for it again. Unfortunately ‘day off’ was a huge success. For the record my son does nothing on most days, only difference he does it wearing clothes and outdoors. So really I am still stumped by this overwhelming need to rest from doing mostly nothing in his life anyway.

But then it happened. He woke up one Tuesday and said MOM. Then again. And again. Then he called daddy DAD. And ever since we have been addressed as MOM and DAD. No more mommy or daddy. Nothing. Just Mom. With a big sharp cut off. No cuteness in his voice, not even when he is negotiating his next day off. I am now officially known as Mom.

I am in shambles. At any given moment you will spot me in the corner eating Nutella out of the jar with a large spoon. Or looking at old photographs wondering where it all went so wrong. Or ignoring my teenage son calling me mom. Seriously I cannot be a mom yet. I am not ready!!!

As a last resort I have decided not to teach Little J how to tie his shoelaces. So he can either get a job like all other teenagers and buy himself slip on shoes or he will forever depend on me. Who’s your mommy now?!

Posted in The good life | Also tagged , 25 Comments

The boy called Iron

Last time I fell off my horse,husband said we should look into a good life insurance for me. Not just any, but a 30 year term life insurance.

Life insurance is very important and for anyone who needs a physical exam in order to qualify for it 30 year plan is an ideal solution. Particularly if you have mortgage and want to secure an income once you pass away for the ones left behind. Mozdex is your one stop resource for an easy online quotes to find the best solution for you. It takes less time then brewing a cup of tea to fill out a form online and receive comparison quotes from leading insurance companies. And if like me you are young, the premiums are low and set for the duration of the 30 year plan.

But seeing how I am younger then my husband I can only assume he thinks I am going to die before him. Other then riding a warmblood there are many reasons why one would think I will not live to be hundred. I call a scone from drive through coffee shop lunch. The last time I went to the gym we still wrote 1999 on checks. Well we still wrote checks period! I sleep less hours a night then expected wait at the queue in DMV and I am convinced that cocoa is fruit and therefor chocolate is one of my five a day. At 2AM. Let’s be honest cocoa does grow on trees and has seeds right?

But the main reason I am possibly going to have a heart attack soon is my son. He never stops talking. EVER. Most of the time I listen. Or at least I try. His stories are very elaborate and long. We pull out of the garage and he will say: mommy, did you know? 35 minutes later he is still deep into his monologue as we arrive at our destination. Sometimes, not on purpose, I tune him out. I find myself thinking about what needs to be done and traffic and the prices of fuel and Presidential candidates and cupcakes. Then I randomly hear:

“…we would be doing it in the hotel and concert and I would unchain them after.”

I learned after that never to miss any of the details of his stories of course. Because I am sure that would have made sense otherwise. So yesterday as we are driving to Deception pass park Little J says:

” Mommy I think it is a big mistake you only have me. When I am a grown up I will have many babies. They will come from my church. All the women will be inside the church and they will bring me babies. I think I will call all my boys Iron.”

This as you can see will be the end of me. My son will probably move to Utah and support all his Iron Men with my life insurance.
I better sign up, there will be a lot of mouths to feed.

Posted in The good life | Also tagged , , , 21 Comments