Pillow talk

Progression of love and marriage:

Year one

Nothing can stop crazy love.

Year two

When an old car accident injury starts acting up, newly wedded man buys his beautiful young wife a posh pillow that is flown across the globe. Her neck is grateful. She shows her gratitude every day.

Year three

No changes. Pillow is still with wife.

Year four

Husband is known to use pillow if she is not present in bed.

Year five

Wife buys same kind of pillow for husband out of love. And as a subtle message as to not use hers anymore. Ever.

Year six

Husband is repeatedly caught switching the pillows. His is apparently not as worn and comfy as hers. She is well annoyed. But love prevents her from snatching it under his head while he sleeps. She dreams of it though.

Year seven

Husband caught switching the pillow. Confronted. He sees that in year seven she will not take to good ole switcheroo kindly. Husband blames 4 year old kid for the switch.

I am drawing the line here. Feel free to take my side. It is comfier anyway.

Marriage proposal

There are many things that before becoming a parent one would deem disgusting.

Like the other day, after hours spend on the beach, I ran out of tissue. I tried ignoring my son’s big green booger, trust me. Then Big M slobbered all over my jeans so I told Little J to wipe his nose in them too. He leaned against my leg and blew his nose really hard.
See: disgusting.

Then there are things that are morally so terrible that your hair will go up just thinking about it. Until your son says it and then it is the sweetest thing ever. Yes I am talking about marriage proposal.

Like the other day when my son and husband talked about rings at the dinner table. Which led to the explanation on why mommy is wearing one. Followed by a word of caution from the older and wiser father to his son that one day too, he will be buying rings and marrying a woman. To which my son answered that he is planning on marrying me when he grows up. Not sure if that was to save money since I already have a ring, but I am going with the cute thing.

Now if my aunt is reading this she is swooning all over this. If her 12 year old son is reading this he is thinking it is disgusting. See?

Fast forward to tonight and we are reading a kids dictionary, letter W. Among other entries: WIFE = a married woman.

Little J: Mommy will you be my wife when I grow up?

Me: No, remember I am married to Daddy.

Little J: Can you be married to Daddy and me?

Me: No, there is one woman and one man in the marriage. (unless you live further South)

Little J: Hmmm…

Me: You can choose one of your friends to marry. Like one of Ms. Amy’s girls. Maybe E?

Little J: She is too young. Maybe K. No, I think maybe A. Yes, I will marry her.

Me: She is nice. A bit older, but good choice.

Little J: She always shouts at me and wants me to chase her. I like her best.

Be a friend

When I was 13 years old my country fell apart.

I found myself a citizen of a new one. Same home, same town, but different name. We were now independent and with that came a new citizenship. Sadly my mother passed away a month before that. It was not until I applied for high school a year later that my grandparents realized I was living in my country illegally. Same home, same town, but due to my mother claiming me Yugoslavian and not Slovenian at birth I was now not eligible for a passport. It was nobody’s fault, just a written statement by a parent and I will be officially Slovenian. A technicality really.

Only I had no parents. I was not 18 yet so I could not sign papers for myself. I lived with my grandparents, but they were not my legal guardians. I was living in a same home, same town yet I was facing deportation. To a country that was torn up in war, a country I never lived in a day of my life. To say this was surreal is an understatement. And all because of one word, one line that I know my mom never imagined would cause me harm. But that is bureaucracy for you.

I was fortunate. My grandma is a persistant woman, she knocked on many doors and the Minister of interior affairs called on his staff to find a solution. They juggled some papers and I was once again who I was born to be, Slovenian. I even entered high school on time.

Many years later I fell in love and married an American. My husband is wise and helped me understand the importance of becoming naturalized. The day I stood with my right arm across the heart, reciting The Pledge of Allegiance to America I cried. Tears of pride and tears of joy. Mostly for knowing my family will always stay together, have a home and a country to protect and be protected by.

The most incredible thing about America is that each of us has a voice and we can make a difference. Galit, Leighann and Barbara have reached out to seek support for Mark and Fred in their quest to keep their family together. In the same home, same town, where they belong.

If you are not familiar with their story please click HERE and get to know them. When you do, remember that I once was a child facing the same uncertain future as Fred and his children are. It was the kindness of strangers who saw how stiff the law was and helped find a legal way to bend it that helped me. I really wish, more then anything today for Fred to be able to stay with his family.

Love is love. Families should stay together. This couple has devoted their love and lives to becoming a family. There should be no reason, not now not ever for them not to wake up and have cereal together every morning. Just like your family and mine.

Please see beyond politics, your beliefs and your opinions. Sit down and write the letter to

Secretary Janet Napolitano
Department of Homeland Security
U.S. Department of Homeland Security
Washington, D.C. 20528

just like I did, telling her how your world would come crashing down if you had to be separated from your children, your family. How we must find a solution for Fred. You are a voice that can make a difference and Mark, Frédéric, John, Claire, Jacob and Joshua need voices.

Thank you for being a friend, you just never know when it might be your turn to need one!