Little J quotes

Reading a book to Little J: “Rhinoceros weights over 6000pounds.” He looks at me and says “Very big! Why do they weight so much money?”

 

‎”Mama put my socks and slippers on, I wanna migrate downstairs” So I asked him why. “Cause it’s warmer”

 

‎”Polar bears eat fish.” so I ask what kind of fish. Little J looks at me all smug: “Polar fish!”

 

“Mama spinster is coming and will blow my town down!!” Me: “Little J you mean twister?”

 

Checking with Little J how he will tell the horse to stop when he rides. He makes the clicking sound and says: “With echolocation.”

 

Little J took his huge T-rex to the dentist with him. Doctor was trying to make conversation so he asked if his dinosaur brushes well. My son looks at him seriously and says: “He is a toy!”

 

“Oh dear man!” hybrid devised by Little J to sound more current among his peers.

 

Telling Little J I only ask him to do things that matter. “Well Mama sometimes you ask me clever things and sometimes you ask me silly things. So I don’t always listen.”

 

Asking little J if I can take his plate. “Yes Mama and you can wash it too.”

 

Putting my jodhpurs on, Little J says to me: “Mama you smell like a horse.”

 

Walking on a trail a lady passes us and comments on how big our dog is. Little J says: “Not really, my horse is bigger. And humpback whale.”

 

“Mama Cheerios are Spanish for M&M’s.”

 

Little J is laying under my jackets in the closet. I ask what he is doing. “Hibernating, tell me when spring is here.”

 

I am rushing around the kitchen. He is sitting at the breakfast bar looking at me. “Mama, what am I gonna do with you?”

 

Last year Little J asked me to make him a paper plane. After he tested it he said ” It is rubbish.” We tried again recently: “Still rubbish, I will put it in recyclables.”

 

Asking Little J what he wants for breakfast. “Something green, maybe peas.” I check if he is serious. “No Mama, but that was funny!”

 

I told Little J not to jump on the couch. ” I am not jumping, just bouncing” So I ask what’s the difference. “Big difference.”

 

“When I grow up I will be a Daddy, not a Mommy.”

 

Last thought my son had before he drifted off to sleep: “Mama I got to tell you something. Sausages and whales cannot fly.”

 

Little J singing 5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. Daddy asks him if he is a monkey, since he likes to jump on the bed too. “No Daddy, I never fall.”

 

Little J watching Backyardigans. They ask if he wants to join them on an adventure. “No thanks, I am going to the beach with my Mommy.”

 

Telling him we are always running late. Little J’s reasoning: “That’s because we are always busy doing bits and bobs.”

 

Sitting next to our dog, he says: “He is turning into a cat!” I ask how come. “Mama look, he is growing whiskers.”

 

“Mama, my eyes are brown but if I look at the ocean they become blue.”

 

“Watermelon should be called Juicemelon.”

 

“Booby traps grow underground, just like mashed potatoes.”

 

“Let’s put a banana under the tree for Santa. Everybody gives him cookies and too much sugar is not good for his teeth.”

 

“I love you so much Mommy volcano will erupt.”

 

“Mommy can I be a shark when I grow up?”. I ask him how he will make money by being a shark? “Send Daddy to the bank.”

 

“If this broccoli doesn’t stop growing soon we will have to eat our way out of the house!”

 

Sniffing his feet: “They smell just the way I like it. Salty.”

 

“Meteors can only be found in outer space and Slovenia.”

 

Watching a documentary about natural catastrophes. “Wish they stopped calling it a sea storm cause I keep thinking they are saying yes to a disaster. Ocean storm would be better.”