Monday listicles

Today’s list was submitted by Jenni. Her blog is called Stolen Moments. If you would like to add your list please click here.

Jenni is a not quite 30 year old (phew!) mother of four. In her head she is quite quirky and loves to laugh. On the outside, she struggles to remember the grown-up speak and laughs nontheless. She cherishes her family and values her friendships. She loves any time she gets to spend with both. Oh, and wine’s good too…always good…

 

JENNI’S LIST:  10 THINGS  PARENTHOOD TAUGHT/GIVEN  ME

1) I can be ‘yummy mummy’ even when my hair is scraped back and I have no make up on. This is because I managed to push something the size of a watermelon through something the size a iddy biddy cherry (ahem…)

2) Tracksuit bottoms are suitable daytime wear. See above…also because I refuse to co-ordinate fancy pants and puke.

3) I role play exceedingly well! Think goodcop/badcop…hell, with playing all roles, I don’t even need the kids to join in the merriment!

4) 30 minutes on the outside is equal to 30 seconds on the inside. Where does the time go, honestly??

5) Chips/french fries are an acceptable one of five-a-day. Because this seems to be the only bloody vegetable the kids will eat!! (I have been known to take one end of the chips off and stuff the insides with garden peas (if you want to try…use fat chips and petit pois))

6) Keep practicing with the grown-up language. I never thought for a second that I would forget how to hold an adult conversation (I have also been known to correct said adults. Read:”It’s I would like; not I want” (NOT the way to build lasting friendships, it only works one way…correct the child, not the adult)

7) Since having children I have become unintentionally somewhat aloof and distanced. This as I say, is very unintentional. The constant errands and jobs and lists. Various childrens activites, whats’s for tea. Where do kids need to be, did I remember to wash the eldest sons school jumper…? I am in my own world and should I bump into an old friend out of the blue, there’s just no breaking through those lists! Which leads me to….

8 ) Guilt. When that little baby comes in to this world and takes his/her first breath…Mummy is awarded the one thing she will keep with her ’til the end of time…should she choose to accept it. Being a sucker for punishment, of course I chose to accept it!!! I feel guilt over everything…did I tell my kids I love them 236,000 times today? Did I tell my man I still think he’s hot (even though the last time I saw him today was when he walked in the front door sweating profusely after a rather rigourous PT session.) Have I made enough effort with my friends lately? Did I stop and listen for more than 5 minutes when needed? Should I really have bought myself a fabulous new pair of tracksuit bottoms…?

9) Patience. Now, those who know me well, will know I am NOT patient. In. The. Least. BUT I do have more patience. For example, If I were dealing with my daily stresses before I’d had kids…I’d be serving time for murder. Where the housework is done for you, meals prepared by someone else, leisure time all the time…Wait a minute…could I have stumbled across something here…

10) A Childs Love. Only a mother who truly loves and cherishes her kids will know this love. It’s a love which can’t be described without doing it the justice it deserves. The reason I say only a mother who truly loves and cherishes her kids will know this? Because only that Mother will recognise it and hold onto it. Only a Mother will look into her childs eyes and understand their feelings; thus sharing their feelings. Only a Mum can yell at her kids, get stressed out all day long, struggle to scrape by as a yummy mummy, and yet her child doesn’t care, she loves her. She loves her mummy regardless. Even from tiny, a seriously short sighted baby will look around a busy room and recognise his mothers voice and stay focused until she returns. A childs love has to be the most precious and indeed, priceless gift known to (wo)man. Now, please excuse me, I have some research to carry out on those free jail spa breaks.

 

New feature

My favorite thing about my website is that it is mine. I can do whatever I want. So I decided to introduce something new. Every Monday from now on until I say so; or you throw tomatoes at me, we shall have a listicle. I know, never heard of that word before either. So click on it please.

Why you ask? Because I love lists. Shopping lists, best of lists, guest lists, any kind of lists. So without further ado let’s begin Monday Listicles.

Since it’s a bit short notice ( I came up with this brilliant idea last night around three while keeping my sleepless child company), it is mine turn first. But in order to make this fun I encourage you to send yours to stasha[at]northwestmommy[dot]com. Anything goes, as long as there are ten items on your list. You can rank them or keep them random. I will then post them for the whole world to see. And give you full credit. All that absolutely free. So put it on your list of things to do!

10 THINGS I LEARNED FROM LIBRARY BOOKS LITTLE J BORROWED

1) Whales do not sleep. Because they are voluntary breathers they have to think about each breath. Instead of falling asleep they rest one side of the brain at the time. Much like me really.

2) Snails are born with a soft shell that takes about a year to be fully developed. Much like my head, apart from the timeline.

3) After reading a few books on the subject, I am no closer to knowing the exact difference between fire truck and fire engine. Further research will be my son’s pleasure.

4) Tunnel boring machine –TBM requires over 40 workers to operate. Fact that might be useful if you ever talk about Eurotunnel at a dinner party.

5) Kids like pirates. Even scary looking ones.

6) Ladybirds live for about a year and hibernate in winter. And yes, ladybugs are same as ladybirds.

7) Tittle My Uncle is a Hunkle, Says Clarice Bean by Lauren Child was changed to Clarice Bean, Guess Who’s Babysitting for American market. Have not got the faintest idea why.

8 ) Some Hollywood stars should stick to acting. I will refrain from further comment.

9) Why ocean is salty. Too much to explain, but I for one am a fact smarter.

10) I am not very knowledgeable. Working on it, with a little help from inquisitive three year old and a stocked up local library.

Long live books. And lists.