Category Archives: Monday Listicles

Monday Listicles

Sunday Funday!

I am really in the mood for some jokes. Lately I have been a little under the weather. I think I over scheduled myself a wee bit and I keep worrying about not getting things done. Today I have been stuck in front of the screen all day and I am so ready to laugh. In fact googling these put me in a great mood. There are a lot of great short jokes out there on the world wide web. Which is convenient since I cannot tell a joke to save my life. But I am great at copy and paste!

Next week: 10 COMPLAINTS

Make a list, check it twice, link it up. Read others. Have fun!

 

10 JOKES

1. Where do you find a one-legged dog? Where you left it.

2. If a man states an opinion and there is no woman to hear it, is he still wrong?

3. What did zero say to eight? Nice belt.

4. Two snowmen are standing in a meadow. One snowman turns to the other and says: Do you smell carrots?

5. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.

6. Two aerials meet on a roof – fall in love – get married. The ceremony was rubbish – but the reception was brilliant.

7. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. I thought, ”He’s trying to pull a fast one”.

8. Slept like a log last night… Woke up in the fireplace.

9. They told me my password needed to be eight characters, so I entered “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.”

10. What’s the downside to bigamy? More than one mother-in-law.



Monday Listicles

We survived Halloween.

In fact it was really fun. We gave away all the chocolates and neighbors gave us cider as we walked around the neighborhood so life was dandy. After I posted a photo of Bruce looking like a grizzly bear and realizing I was wearing flannel and my hair down I had a brief moment of brilliance that the only think separating me from being Grizzly Adams is a beard. See:

Grizzly Adams 1977

How’s that for a Halloween costume? Well my husband put his foot down and told me wearing a beard will do nothing for our marriage and I ended up not dressing for Halloween. And that is how Bruce ended up trick-o-treating as Wookie accompanying Little J, the clone trooper. But next year…

In the mean time let’s make each other laugh!
Next week: 10 JOKES

Make a list, check it twice, link it up. Read others. Have fun!

 

10 THINGS I FIND UTTERLY ABSURD

1. People arguing over politics or religion.

2. The new math taught in school.

3. 5 minute long coffee order.

4. Spending thousands of dollars on kids birthday party.

5. Amount of medication consumed by Americans daily to treat preventable conditions.

6. Celebrity obsessions.

7. Fingerless lace or fishnet gloves.

8. Running on the treadmill looking out the window into a park on a sunny day.

9. Stuff children get away with these days.

10. Stuff adults get away with these days.



Monday Listicles

Halloween already???

Is it just me or has this year gone by with the speed of light so far? I mean we went to the local store this week and Christmas stand is set up and full of red and green and glittery things. Next thing you know all the LEGO sets will be sold out and panic with hit us once again. This is the first year our job as Santa is easy peasy because Little J has entered the Star Wars stage and we are spoiled for choice. In fact even though he does not care for Halloween one tiny bit lured by the idea of getting a Clone Trooper costume he gets to keep he quickly agreed to play along. Trouble is now both dogs and I have to dress up as well and to make matters worse we are only allowed to be characters from the Episode III. Clearly there was nobody sexy on Kashyyyk so there goes me looking good this Halloween…

What are you all up to this year for Halloween?

Next week: 10 TOTALLY ABSURD THINGS

Make a list, check it twice, link it up. Read others. Have fun!

 

10 THINGS I VOLUNTEERED TO BE THIS HALLOWEEN BUT WAS NOT APPROVED

1. The one that stays home and hands out candy. Both husband and son disagreed.

2. The one that pretends Halloween is tomorrow, switches off the porch light and goes to sleep. Apparently not cool.

3. Princess Leia. Husband approves but son says she was not born yet during the battle of Kashyyyk.

4. Jedi warrior. Son says I cannot be cooler then him.

5. Imperial guard. Cause they are so cool looking. Nobody agrees with me.

6. Yoda. Apparently although it would fit into the scenario I cannot since Yoda cannot be taller then Chewbacca.

7. A mom that takes her kid around the neighborhood trick-a-treating without costume. It seems it would cramp my kid’s style.

8. The one that goes to the neighbors house and drinks wine with them while they hand out their candy. It seems my son is too young to trick-o-treat on his own.

9. Something non Star Wars related. Julian will not hear of it.

10. On vacation on a tropical island. Please!