Soccer mom

Not to brag, but I am kinda cool.

I mean on a scale of 1 to 10 I am a solid 11 when it comes to being relaxed and easy going. Not much you can do to wind me up. Years of serving passengers, who took news that there is no more chicken meals left on board an aircraft worse then if I told them we were crash landing, ironed out any chance of me being confrontational or high strung.

My husband on the other hand, is a worrier. A perfectionist even. So when he signed up Little J for soccer this year I figured it should be his spiel. Let him stand on the sidelines and worry about our son’s performance, because I am just too relaxed and not competitive at all. But faith would have it that he ended up being the coach. Not one to miss out on an opportunity to see my man struggle with 5 year olds wearing shorts I ended up going to some of the practices.

Because I am so incredibly cool I never ever, not in a million years imagined I would be that mom. But I am. I am a the shouting one, the annoyed one, the absurd one and the embarrassing one. It started innocently enough. I really was just trying to help by guiding Little J from the side, helping out my husband. You know, the occasional ‘no, the other goal mate’ and ‘go get the ball’ followed by ‘kick it mate, kick it!’ and ‘go boy go!!’ and finally ‘get up, your fine, just run’ and the dreaded ‘you can do it, go, score!’

I look around and all the other parents are so zen and truly practicing ‘it is all about the fun’ motto. And there I am, trying to get my kid to stop picking flowers and playing fireman and start scoring points. Major points in fact. The ones that will lead this nation into winning world cup. Of course, my son ignores me on the soccer field as much as he does all other times. Lucky for me the coach has not thrown me of the field yet, possibly because he would have no clean underwear within a week. But he did mention the other day it was nice at the game because the parents are so lovely and do not interfere with his work at all. Yes, that was the one I did not go to.

Please tell me that soccer brings the bizarre out of you too?

This entry was posted in The good life and tagged , , .


  1. kathy September 28, 2012 at 08:49 #

    Can I tell you how much I HATE it when I can’t get the meal I want on an airplane!!???!!! :) :) :) Oh boy, “sports moms”…what a phenomenon we are. I try to keep my testosterone hidden, haha.
    kathy recently posted..This and that, but mostly THIS…

    • Stasha September 28, 2012 at 22:17 #

      Twitter: NorthWestMommy
      If we are trading confessions: did I tell you how much I dislike being a passenger on plane period ( but don’t tell on me OK, sure the flight attendant guild will be trying to strangle me with pantyhose)

  2. Runnermom-jen September 28, 2012 at 10:18 #

    Twitter: runnermomjen
    Ha! Oh, Stasha, you’re funny. Can I tell you it gets MUCH worse as they get older? If you’re bad now, just wait until he’s in grade school, and I can only imagine high school ;)
    P.S. That picture is awesome!!
    Runnermom-jen recently posted..Photos, Photos, Photos

  3. Tracy September 28, 2012 at 10:49 #

    Twitter: nystoopmama
    I can’t WAIT for my Junebug to play soccer (or field hockey, or lacrosse ;) . Seriously, not only will I be one of those intense competitive moms, but I want to coach! Sure sports are fun, but there are lessons that can be gleaned from games: they SHOULD be trying to win! Trying to score goals! Trying to run as fast as they can! A little adrenaline and healthy competition is good for everybody, and we should always be cheering our kids on, encouraging them to try their best. I say, keep on going crazy! :)
    Tracy recently posted..Baby Steps to Going Veggie

  4. Deirdre September 28, 2012 at 12:34 #

    Twitter: ladiesholiday
    Basketball is what does it to me. Nail biting, edge of seat sitting, hollering…yeah the whole nine yards. But I still say we’re an 11!
    Deirdre recently posted..Photo Friday Blog Hop #7

  5. Ally September 28, 2012 at 17:06 #

    Twitter: normalmomally
    I’m pretty good on the outside. But the storm inside my head gets pretty intense, especially now at the high school level!
    Ally recently posted..True Story

  6. Alison September 28, 2012 at 17:29 #

    Twitter: AlisonSWLee
    Haha! You’re adorable, I would never kick you off a field. If I was the coach. But then, I launder my own underwear, so…..
    Alison recently posted..In 5 Minutes….

  7. Jackie September 28, 2012 at 19:00 #

    Twitter: notwifezilla
    Guilty. 100% guilty of being that mom.
    Yes, with my 27 week big ol’ prego belly, I’m the one on the sidelines clapping, cheering, jumping around like a maniac.
    Jackie recently posted..Beliefs

  8. Stacie September 29, 2012 at 05:29 #

    Twitter: snapsandbits
    My kids don’t do soccer but I got all like that for baseball! It’s impossible not to ;)
    Stacie recently posted..Waste Management In NJ

  9. Kim @The G is Silent September 29, 2012 at 09:07 #

    Twitter: GisSilent
    STASHA!!!! Eight years I’ve been a soccer mom and you know how snarky and loud and cursey I am. I am a cheerer of all. I never instruct or get frustrated. Sometimes I even don’t pay attention because I’m chatting with friends. This is awesome.
    Kim @The G is Silent recently posted..Weekly Update With Runstreak

  10. Mary @ A Teachable M September 29, 2012 at 12:40 #

    Twitter: ateachablemom
    Soccer, no. Softball, yes. I get so anxious watching my 9yo daughter play softball only a valium or ten would qualify me to say, “I’m kinda cool.”
    Mary @ A Teachable M recently posted..Acting On Faith

  11. Jamie September 30, 2012 at 03:38 #

    Twitter: chosenchaos
    I realllllly don’t like soccer.

    That is until my 6 yo scored his first goal. And now I’m al about it.

    Screaming on the sidelines and all. I just wrote about it too, tis the season I guess!

  12. BonnyBard September 30, 2012 at 13:11 #

    Twitter: thebonnybard
    Despite this minor glitch on the field, you’re still the coolest mom evah!
    Also, will take advantage of your past career to ask for your take on this here rant of mine against the airlines (honest opinion, especially if you disagree!):
    BonnyBard recently posted..No children on my plane, I’ve got rights.

  13. BonnyBard September 30, 2012 at 13:12 #

    Twitter: thebonnybard
    Forgot to add: he is soooo cute in that picture (and very professional looking!)
    BonnyBard recently posted..No children on my plane, I’ve got rights.

  14. Ado September 30, 2012 at 16:58 #

    YOU? Are THAT mom? Who knew!?
    Ado recently posted..Today’s WTF Search Engine Terms

  15. Patricia September 30, 2012 at 17:59 #

    Twitter: greenclean2011
    I was so horrible!! It seemed I would get so excited I would lose my voice when both of my twin girls were on the same team. It was way crazy how excited I got over the game. Of course I am not really a collected person all of the time like you are. But I am not a crazy person like I act at my girl’s soccer games.
    Patricia recently posted..7 Questions #24

  16. Rorybore September 30, 2012 at 18:01 #

    Twitter: rorybore
    I’m too busy keeping the toddler off the field, from licking (no, not typo) dogs people have brought, trying to steal all people’s snacks, and running off into the surrounding woods. Actually, I;m not sure I’ve even seen the games.
    But the snack. oh lord have mercy..the dreaded soccer snack. I am quite certain it was chiseled by Moses along with the other commandments, that it must be popsicles. I refuse. It gets my stomach all tangled in knots when my turn comes because I am not bringing popsicles. I am THAT mom.
    Rorybore recently posted..Tell Me No Lies

  17. Jessica September 30, 2012 at 20:53 #

    Twitter: goaliej54
    I’m certainly going to be a crazy sports mom, no doubt about that. :) It’s good to be involved!

  18. Liz October 1, 2012 at 10:24 #

    I love it!! I can’t imagine you being one of those Mums ever!!! But seriously, it was basketball that got me going… with kids who hog the ball and don’t play as a team. :\ Honestly, don’t get me started…
    On a more positive note, your photo is wonderful as always!! :)
    Liz recently posted..Eastern Water Dragon

  19. Diane October 1, 2012 at 19:40 #

    Twitter: dkotucker
    OMG….you crack me up!!! I swear when J2 played soccer I almost cracked all my teeth from clenching so hard. Haaahaaa!

    Great pic of little J! D
    Diane recently posted..10 Things Autumn #Monday Listicles

  20. Barbara October 2, 2012 at 04:57 #

    Twitter: babspinfrance
    I’m sure they will use this picture for his professional soccer card. I know I’m going to be “that mom”, so I’ll be right there with you!
    Barbara recently posted..Just Another Monday

  21. Pamela October 6, 2012 at 18:12 #

    Twitter: pameloth
    LOL, we’re all “that mom” sometimes…
    Pamela recently posted..I call shotgun.

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