I am cheesed off.
I mean big time. Blue, smelling like old man’s feet in synthetic sneakers kinda cheese. So cheesed off I might be turning lactose intolerant.
Little J is to blame. Or maybe my parenting. Perhaps my daily horoscope or more then likely some annoying recessed gene (on husband’s side of the family off course).
So I blew my top and pushed my kid down the time machine. Into dark ages. There is no TV, games, toys or butter on his bread. Seriously. I made him pack up all his things in the room. I left his bed, but only because it really is too heavy for me to move about. Ok, I left the pillows and his sharks, mostly so I have a few other things to ex if he doesn’t change his ways.
I am sure there is my side of the story, his side and then the truth. But I am the mommy so whatever. The kid went too far. We get along swimmingly 99.1 percent of the time. Unless I am talking to another human being. Which we all know is rare. I have trained my husband to speak with no words and I never engage with other adults. But sometimes, just sometimes a stranger will feel compelled to talk to me. It is mostly a trivia question about my fabulous dog or to tell me how much I owe at the farmers market. I have on occasion been known to spend a few minutes talking to my neighbors too.
And as soon as I do, my son turns into a monster. He either interrupts or does something he knows he is not suppose to. Needless to say I don’t like it. And so the circle begins. Now that I have been playing this game for over two years, I have had enough. I would like to finish my thoughts for once when I speak to my husband. Who knows, one day I might come up with something very clever to say and my Little J will nip it in the bud.
I would like to be able to hold a decent conversation with people I meet. Maybe even look into their eyes! I know I have said 11713 times to 11712 strangers already that my dog weights 165 pounds ( one lady in our neighborhood has dementia so she gets excited about seeing my dog for the first time every Tuesday and Thursday) But it is what it is. I am the mommy. So suck it up kiddo.
Off course I need not google it to determine it is an attention seeking and control thing. But as much as I am trying to sign it off to age, only child syndrome or just plain stupidity I just really cannot take it anymore.
If you knew how many times I have calmly explained to my son about treating people the way you want to be treated, about manners and about how terrible he would feel if I embarrassed him in front of his friends like that! If you knew how much it hurts my feelings that I have an argument with him every single day about doing what he is told ( which honestly is not like I ask him to split an atom or even worse: vacuum the house)…If you only knew how badly I lost my mind this afternoon when I decided enough was enough. I went blank, just like TV screen after the storm. Blink blink. I turned around in the middle of the hike, drove home, gave him some boxes to pack up his stuff and ignored him until daddy came home.
Then during dinner time I did not let Little J chose his bread slice. It was daddy’s turn first, then mine and then his. We must have taken the number four one and the kid cried. Big crocodile tears over the incredible disappointment that is his life. And he cried and cried and then cried some more. To top it all off he told me he doesn’t love me anymore.
But strangely enough, he survived. And so did I. Welcome to your new life my son. The world revolves around the sun from now on. I know…shocking.
35 Comments
Awesome post. Glad I am not little j and I hope he turns it around soon.
Wow!
When you’re the mom, this situation will eventually turn up, and have to be dealt with. It was time. You did so. So did he. Maybe he will realize what a wonderful life he has, but probably not…until he’s very much older! But you were pushed, and you finally had to push back. It will turn out to be something necessary to both of you continuing to grow up, and you will do so. It’s OK. It will not mar him for life. Things will change and then change some more, and you’ll all go on with your lives. Your wonderful lives. Cause you do have a wonderful life–just not a perfect one, and nobody else has one either! But we all do the best we can! This will one day be a funny story that he will remember very differently than you, and you’ll laugh about it. You will laugh about it! I’d bet on it!
I applaud you. I am having the same problem here, being with Z all the time and still not enough and no appreciation. 100% attention is impossible guys WE NEED our me time, right? Good for you my friend . Reality checks are always good for the little ones.
I totally know what you mean and understand you.. I have ”double trouble” at home
Tried to comment but can’t remember my WordPress password. We need to login to comment now? Anywho.. Ya! Ditto! Makes me want to chop off a limb and beat myself with it just to numb the pain.
I am so sorry about the comments. They have been on strike today and I was really looking forward to hearing everyones thoughts. And I could not have said it better myself my friend. Feels just like that!
Sometimes, it easy to forget who’s the real boss right? Because sometime it’s easier to give in. I’m glad you stood your ground. Kids are resilient and smart. He’ll survive.
Alison recently posted..Best Photo Bomb Ever By A Toddler
Good for you! You did good, mom, and one day he will read this, realize what a great upstanding young man he is and thank you!
My mom says that until the invention of indoor plumbing and the phone kids must have never talked to their parents (-:
Tamar Strauss-Benjamin recently posted..Harvard Yard
Im so sorry, but this just makes me laugh. But only because you remind me so much of ME and my son when he was younger. If it is any reassurance, both my son AND I survived
Love this!
Twitter: twinisms
I feel your pain sister. I wish I could say that this will do it – that he’ll listen from now on. But, if he’s anything like mine (or most) kids, you’ve got a few more days like this in your future.
Stay strong mama.
Bridget recently posted..Deployment Love Notes
Twitter: euregirlsandboy
But I explained I was talking to him because he wouldn’t let me stand and have a conversation.
You are the mom, Stasha! Why won’t our kids let us talk to other people sometimes? I hope the punishment gets through to cute Little J.
I was at elementary school open house, trying to talk to a teacher. And the toddler was wriggling and fussing in my arms. And I said in a mean mom voice, “Where do you need to go? Stop it!” But I forgot to look at him instead of at the teacher, so she was really confused about what I was asking her
Katie E recently posted..After Bedtime
Twitter: copilotmom
I love that you said that you get along 99.1% of the time. It’s that 0.9% that makes motherhood hard some days, isn’t it? Hope that you and Little J have more harmonious days ahead.
Co-Pilot Mom recently posted..Summer’s End
Twitter: babspinfrance
Oh, how I’ve been there! What a great post.
Barbara recently posted..WTF Wednesday – Canine edition
Twitter: krrobi
Superb.
we can ALL relate. <3
My Inner Chick recently posted..Incident at the Grocery Store
Twitter: normalmomally
“But I am the mommy so whatever.” – best line ever.
Every mom has either gone through it or will go through it. And you my friend, handled it like a pro. Sometimes you have to take away the stuff that means the most to them to get the message across. I guarantee you, despite his words, what he felt the most sadness over was that he had disappointed you. And that makes you a #1, awesome mom.
Oh, and sometimes you have to do it more than once…
Ally recently posted..Lost Cause? Or Save?
I know I’ve said it before… but you are an awesome, fun and incredibly loving Mumma!! And there are times when tough love must be exercied for the sake of all. Stand you ground, Stasha, because tough love is the only love that will ensure Little J grows up to be a wonderful young man who WILL, I promise, thank you!!
We have all been there… and you know what??… Our children survived. And so did we.
And you do get along 99.1% of the time which is incredibly positive.
Great post!!! Thinking of you, my lovely friend
Liz recently posted..Two houses, One home
Twitter: stampingrules
Been there, done that, have the t-shirt…and half their junk is still in the garage! Every now and then I’ll haul out something they don’t even remember having and now it’s a new treasure. Hold strong – you’re a great mom, and he’s gonna have fabulous character!
Wendy Coffman recently posted..Friday Favorite Things!
I think you should get a babysitter and take the time to go out with some friends, this way, you could turn into an introvert and it won’t be good for you and your son, sometimes, everyone needs a day-off to keep the peace of mind…
Kata recently posted..Mik a fogpótlás legkorszerűbb módszerei?
Twitter: dkotucker
Love that you keep your sense of humour!
You go girl!!! Wish I had thought to have them pack up their things. Wait…I think I did that when they weren’t looking. Ha! Your bed comment….baaahaaahaaa!
Mothers unite!
Diane recently posted.."Fab Friday: Back to School Edition"
Twitter: thebonnybard
This was all kinda funny, and also very, very familiar! I’m not big on parenting advice, but I’m reading a book called Bringing up Bebe and every time I pick it up I just keep thinking I want to raise my children like the french…
We need time to ourselves, we need to be able to have adult conversations (outside our own heads), and our kids need to just get with the program!!
BonnyBard recently posted..Stuff that drives me nuts… y’all.
You sing it, sister!! Good for you. No good can come from children thinking the world revolves solely around them. I think it’s terribly important for them to learn compassion towards others and to learn that life isn’t all about them. It’s a tough lesson though. I’m glad you all survived!
Stacey recently posted..School Days
Twitter: JenAnnHall
Good job, Mom. You got this! Sometimes when I get mad at my kids and can’t take their rude behavior anymore, I say NO to just about everything they ask. At some point, hubs has to ask me if I’m just saying no out of spite. Maybe. So what? They’ll live!
Just Jennifer recently posted..Jenni’s Got a Gun
Twitter: rorybore
my son would like to form a support group with Little J….I believe it’s called “so what I wanted my stupid mattress on the floor and don’t like that stupid toy anyway, and I don’ t need to eat nothin either” Club.
so, you know now…been there. there is nothing that takes me from happy mom to wicked banshee faster than my children interrupting me when I am trying to talk to the hubster, the neighbour…..anyone. I already gave up private bathroom time…Back The Heck Off. S’sly. Drives me up the wall.
I don’t like to get so mad either, but honestly, viewing mommy as a person who is entitled to finish a sentence or though every now and then, as well as have relationships with people other than themselves: Great lesson for children to learn. A must in fact.
Bravo — stand strong!
(for the record….I’ve answered 3 requests from my children in the leaving of this comment.)
Rorybore recently posted..Legally Pissed
Twitter: littleredhens
Well done, Stasha! I love it when humans act human. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve gone berserk on my kids. They must think I am a real lunatic. But I thought my Mom was a lunatic sometimes, too. We aren’t lunatics, we are human. Teachable moments aren’t always quiet and beautiful. Sometimes those experiences give quite a tug. You are a beautiful, loving Mom and little J is going to be a wonderful human, too.
Anne LeBlanc recently posted..Basket of random.
Twitter: mommyslounge
Holy cow! Doesn’t it just break your heart when you have to do that? And those crocodile tears. It makes things even harder. But like you said the world goes on and he didn’t die. I’m waiting for today when my girls realize that. We mother’s all salute you!
Janice recently posted..A Little Break
Phew!! Glad I’m not in that boat all by myself!! My biggest little guy has a very unhealthy attachment to the words “I can’t”, I’m ready to banish the phrase entirely from my home, or anywhere said three year old may be at the time!
Twitter: RobynHTV
So glad I’m not the only mama losing her schmidt over teaching the same lessons over and over, without any of them ever being learned. My dtr interrupts so much that I don’t even acknowledge her anymore – I just hold my hand up in front of her face and keep talking. I know it probably looks horrid to strangers (and the person I’m talking to), but I can’t take it anymore! I hope the dark ages works for you & your boy – if it helps, I recently did the same to my son and after a few days he actually THANKED me for it. It’s a crazy world we live in.
hollow tree ventures recently posted..We’re "Fair"ly Ready For School (okay, no more puns – I promise)
Twitter: chosenchaos
I hope in the three days since the sun rose you have remained steadfast in your convictions. It’s hard being parents and hard growing up but at some point we all have to do it. And trust me, I’ve done it. Over and over and over and over again.
Jamie recently posted..weekend wisdom
I had to do this yesterday by leaving a store without letting my child play because she has difficulty listening when she’s over stimulated and excited.
Sometimes it’s hard to follow through but necessary.
Leighann recently posted..Weightless
Twitter: MissMarinaStar
This is something I definitely struggle with. The behavior is different, but the fact that it’s a particular behavior I’ve spent most of their lives trying to get them to stop doing makes for a very frustrated mommy at times. Good for you for following through!
Miss Marina Star recently posted..Move Along
Twitter: runnermomjen
Hooray for you, Stasha!!! Yes, they need to learn that the world doesn’t revolve around them…it’s a hard lesson to learn, but a necessary one. I love how you told this…funny but with your foot down the whole time.
xoxo
Runnermom-jen recently posted..Scavenger Hunt
Twitter: ava812
I ask myself a lot of times if I am doing a good job being a Mom. I hear you Stasha.
ava recently posted..Curveballs
Oh that is so, so hard. I have moments where I just shut down b/c I can’t take the constant whining all the time. We’ve started time outs in the playpen and she SCREAMS and has a fit. But the bad behavior has to stop. It just does. I hope things have gotten better for you both.
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