I am cheesed off.
I mean big time. Blue, smelling like old man’s feet in synthetic sneakers kinda cheese. So cheesed off I might be turning lactose intolerant.
Little J is to blame. Or maybe my parenting. Perhaps my daily horoscope or more then likely some annoying recessed gene (on husband’s side of the family off course).
So I blew my top and pushed my kid down the time machine. Into dark ages. There is no TV, games, toys or butter on his bread. Seriously. I made him pack up all his things in the room. I left his bed, but only because it really is too heavy for me to move about. Ok, I left the pillows and his sharks, mostly so I have a few other things to ex if he doesn’t change his ways.
I am sure there is my side of the story, his side and then the truth. But I am the mommy so whatever. The kid went too far. We get along swimmingly 99.1 percent of the time. Unless I am talking to another human being. Which we all know is rare. I have trained my husband to speak with no words and I never engage with other adults. But sometimes, just sometimes a stranger will feel compelled to talk to me. It is mostly a trivia question about my fabulous dog or to tell me how much I owe at the farmers market. I have on occasion been known to spend a few minutes talking to my neighbors too.
And as soon as I do, my son turns into a monster. He either interrupts or does something he knows he is not suppose to. Needless to say I don’t like it. And so the circle begins. Now that I have been playing this game for over two years, I have had enough. I would like to finish my thoughts for once when I speak to my husband. Who knows, one day I might come up with something very clever to say and my Little J will nip it in the bud.
I would like to be able to hold a decent conversation with people I meet. Maybe even look into their eyes! I know I have said 11713 times to 11712 strangers already that my dog weights 165 pounds ( one lady in our neighborhood has dementia so she gets excited about seeing my dog for the first time every Tuesday and Thursday) But it is what it is. I am the mommy. So suck it up kiddo.
Off course I need not google it to determine it is an attention seeking and control thing. But as much as I am trying to sign it off to age, only child syndrome or just plain stupidity I just really cannot take it anymore.
If you knew how many times I have calmly explained to my son about treating people the way you want to be treated, about manners and about how terrible he would feel if I embarrassed him in front of his friends like that! If you knew how much it hurts my feelings that I have an argument with him every single day about doing what he is told ( which honestly is not like I ask him to split an atom or even worse: vacuum the house)…If you only knew how badly I lost my mind this afternoon when I decided enough was enough. I went blank, just like TV screen after the storm. Blink blink. I turned around in the middle of the hike, drove home, gave him some boxes to pack up his stuff and ignored him until daddy came home.
Then during dinner time I did not let Little J chose his bread slice. It was daddy’s turn first, then mine and then his. We must have taken the number four one and the kid cried. Big crocodile tears over the incredible disappointment that is his life. And he cried and cried and then cried some more. To top it all off he told me he doesn’t love me anymore.
But strangely enough, he survived. And so did I. Welcome to your new life my son. The world revolves around the sun from now on. I know…shocking.