Fame and toilet habits

This might sound odd coming from a blogger, but I don’t much care for fame.

Clearly I am not a shy flower, since you are reading my thoughts right now. You have on occasion seen a photo of me. But I bet you had no idea how utterly famous I am. Not only do I have a rock star dog that has groupies on every block and a kid for whom nation stood by the screens waiting to see the first official photo of his new haircut, but I am indeed bona fide celebrity.

I receive awards from fellow bloggers (thank you Rachel, Janice, C&C and crazy stalker that keeps trying to give me a bronze medal), wonderful spam comments saying that Tolstoy could learn a thing or two about writing from me ( from Venus who was clearly moved by my Wordless Wednesday photo) and tweets from many eggs suggesting I join their exclusive iPad giveaway party. It is sometimes overwhelming, but I deal with it the best I can.

My son has caught onto this and realized I might be leaving to join Dancing With the Stars very soon. The 12 waking hours that we spend together within a 5 feet perimeter are simply not enough. I have been summoned often to remain at his bedside until he drifts to sleep. If I am to conduct any adult conversation, be it the checkout lady, neighbor or god forbid his own father Little J promptly says “Moooooommmmy, I got something very important to tell you”. He even interrupted the state trooper this morning who pulled me over. In case you were wondering I was not speeding, trying to get away from paparazzi. Officer just wanted my autograph but came up with some bogus tail light not working story. Clearly I cannot confirm his allegations, since I have to step on the break in order to see if the light comes on. Clever these troopers I tell you!

Anyhow, I tried to cope because he is my only son, apple of my eye and quite possibly future President of United States. But when I went to take my three point seven minute shower the other day and had my four year old standing on the other side of it telling me “something very important” I had to put my foot down. For a day or two it looked promising. I conducted a two minute conversation with husband in the car while Little J was sitting in his seat quietly. I spoke on the phone with a client without having to simultaneously build a train track and I even drank my coffee luke warm!

What followed was the infamous indoor playground play date. To my son’s credit he not once interrupted me while I gossiped with his friend’s mom. But he had to go pee. 14 times in 71 minutes. And he preformed every single time! I believe he took lessons from the dog on how to conserve for marking purposes.

Naturally being the concerned parent I googled his symptoms. Ruling out diabetes he has a well know condition common in children that is caused by stress. Or as my grandma would call it: He is spoiled and way too smart for his age.

I am trying to deal with it the best I can, thank you. I found some comfort confiding in my friend at the barn about how hard it is to be most wanted yesterday. My horse did not appreciate being left alone in the cross ties in the mean time. He called out for me. Pretty sure the second time he neighed he said “I got something very important to tell you”. I did not give birth to him, so I chose to ignore him. And then he peed…

31 thoughts on “Fame and toilet habits”

    1. Twitter: NorthWestMommy
      It is so hard being this popular, isn’t it? I think it is a control thing, right? Or are they just out to get us?!?

  1. Twitter: mannahattamamma
    Sigh…the burden of fame. It’s a tough job, but someone has to do it. And as far as Little J is concerned (also your horse, also your dog, probably your husband) YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE. Imitations will not suffice. Count your blessings (quickly, while you have time) because in just about ten years (yes, I know, a decade), the horse & husband will still want your undivided attention but Little J will be WAAAAAY too cool for “mommy.” Of course, the peeing thing will continue. He’s a boy; it’s genetic. They pee everywhere, regardless of the actual presence of a toilet.
    deborah l quinn recently posted..Monday Listicles: (un)resolute

  2. Twitter: babspinfrance
    I always knew you were a superstar! I’m glad mine isn’t at that point yet. I can at least still shower in peace.

  3. Twitter: rorybore
    whenever I try to speak – to anyone – Zoo Zoo yells “mommy, mommy, mommy, MOMMY!” when I finally say, “yes, Zoo Zoo?” in exasperation, her response?

    “hi.”

    because I haven’t been with her, like every waking moment, since she was born – well, and I guess every moment BEFORE she was born…. she just has to check in I guess. make sure I haven’t forgotten all about her. Please child – just let me forget you for 5 minutes so I can pee in peace!
    although, she did bring me one of her Sesame Street books when I was in the bathroom the other day — that was kind of sweet.
    RoryBore recently posted..Poetry Workshop via Mommy’s Lounge

  4. Ah the cost of fame, Stasha…Enjoy it while you can- though as Barbara said you are a “superstar” and always will be in my eyes! Great post!

  5. Twitter: lisaschwartz05
    I am that popular too with my 4 year old daughter. She can only be put to bed by me and watching me shower is a go to activity. She is my little tail rarely leaving my side throughout the day. When I tell her I have to go to work, she insists that she comes too. I am sure one day I will miss this love and adoration, but for now I find it exhausting.
    Sorry to hear about the pee.
    Lisa recently posted..A Kid Friendly New Years

  6. Twitter: normalmomally
    Grandma’s are pretty smart at figuring those little ones out.
    Sigh. So hard to be so famous and in such high demand.

    Peeing horses in the cross ties, I’ve done before. They can be quite a stubborn lot.
    Ally recently posted..Unanswered Prayers

    1. Twitter: normalmomally
      Warning: When they are teenagers, they never want to speak to you when you are available and wanting to be close to them. However, when you are busy they will need your full, undivided attention for all the thoughts in their brains for the new “thing” they have just thought up. You must have much enthusiasm for their thoughts and be very careful to hide the logical mother in you that wants to rear her head and explain reality. LOL
      Ally recently posted..Unanswered Prayers

  7. I am not in the least surprised at your fame. My husband still has to pee everyplace we go. When his mother came to visit, we went to the grocery store and yup, 5 minutes into it she asked me “Where is the bathroom?”. How in the hell would I know! It’s a grocery store! She found out the answer and went to pee. What is it with these types? Your son has an excuse. It’s new to him and sort of fun. I still think of it as fun sort of. At least I assure you that not having a restroom available when I need to go is the opposite of fun.
    Linda Medrano recently posted..Good Karma and Star Power

  8. Twitter: Bitsofbee
    You really are a celebrity – in my bloggy world anyways 😉
    I know what you mean though, my 2 year old and 4 year old both want all of my time and attention, and unfortunately I’m only around for a small part of the day so it’s tough to say no sometimes. It could be why they don’t let me sleep for more than 2 hours a night..hmm..
    Bits of Bee recently posted..Worth It (Wordless Wednesday)

  9. Twitter: SJM_CookiesMom
    Stasha – FUNNY! Sorry for your suffering (I get it! Really I do!) but with your wit it made for a very entertaining post. Another friend is experiencing something similar with respect to frequent pees and I wonder if it’s an attention thing.
    Cookie’s Mom recently posted..2012: One Word

  10. From one celebrity to another, I could totally relate to the state-trooper pulling you over! *sigh* When will they learn they won’t get any autograph from us that way, eh? LOL

    Here’s to telling the future US President that he once peed 14 times in 41 minutes!
    Sweaty recently posted..There’s Always a Solution. Or Maybe Not.

  11. Twitter: teamrasler
    This is brilliant. The 14 times is especially impressive stalker-fan behavior! My personal stalker opens with “Excuse me, Mama. Excuse me, MAMA. EXCUSE me, Mama. EXCUSE ME, MAMA!!!” When I finally turn, he simply says. “I wanted to talk to you.”

    SIgh.

    It’s tough being famous.

  12. Twitter: twinisms
    Hahahaha! This si awesome. Seriously funny.

    I think my kids suffer from the same affliction. I have to tell you, sadly it doesn’t get better. My 15-year-olds still knock on the bathroom door to “tell me really important stuff.” Luckily they’ve stopped just barging in, that would be embarrassing!
    Bridget recently posted..Deployment Advice

  13. Twitter: MissMarinaStar
    This is a common theme around my house as well. I now have to make most of my phone calls from the bathroom or hiding in the nearest closet while Amelia runs around the house yelling “Mommy, where are you?!” It’s shameful, really.

    Have you seen this saying on Pinterest? – “I used to want it all, now I just want to pee alone”
    Miss Marina Star recently posted..Two Years In

  14. Twitter: bestfoodies
    You are very famous in my eyes. Little J is “well loved” not spoiled or at least that’s the term I use about my kids haha. Even though they are adults they still say “mom……….” alot, some days you want to change your name, most days you would have it no other way! Funny post, sad but true haha……
    bestfoodies recently posted..A New Years Wish

  15. Twitter: beeswithhoney
    My youngest has grown more attached to me since she turned 3. She’s glued to my side everywhere we go. I think she thinks I’m going to leave her somewhere since I do on days when I got to work. She won’t even go with Grandma when I’m around. Ugh, it’s a stage, I know but it’s trying at times. I know I spoil her too.

    Loved this post Stasha. You’re as funny in your writing as you are in real life 🙂
    Bruna recently posted..Lets BEE Friends with Julie!

  16. Twitter: chosenchaos
    As a Mommy on both sides of this… 5 yrs doesn’t like me, 1 yr olds cant live without me… I pick the NEEEEEEEEDDDDD me. It’s hard living through it but that’s what you do. Live through it and on the other side, it’s just you. Can you tell I’m DEPRESSED about my babies turning 1. It’s all I keep talking about!
    Jamie recently posted..if i could turn back time — the momalog

  17. Ah, dealing with being famous is not easy, but you do get used to it,eventually:) Came to your blog, because I mostly do with new people who comment. Your photography is striking, so I relished in you comment!

  18. Twitter: lilahbility
    Not sure how I missed this! But: So. Funny. Loved it! This morning while I took my turn to shower, Lilah pounded on the bathroom door for several minutes because she “needed help” with something – meanwhile, the Hubs was within arms’ reach. Also? She had a dirty diaper. I know what it’s like to be SOOOOO popular you barely even know what to do with yourself!
    Amanda recently posted..Happiness Is… Kidless Caribbean Getaway

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