We have a sweet, older lady living in our neighborhood.
She has a very cute and unsocial female dog. Every morning and afternoon she takes her for a walk. They pass by our house on the way to the park. Over time we started greeting each other. She knows my son and my dog and I think she kind of likes me too. She brings me vegetables from her garden and salmon her son catches. I invited her over a few times but she told me she doesn’t care much for company. Fair enough.
The other day she passed by in the morning while my Husband was working on the yard. From here on I will tell you what he told me. This is unconfirmed information, but by law or something I am to believe my spouse.
Our neighbor told my Husband she often sees Big M in the morning in various locations. None of which are on our property. Sometimes he is coming down the hill, others he is returning from the expedition to the east. Never does he bring back spices or silk. He appears to be alone. She then sees him jump the fence and return to his usual spot on the deck. When she returns from her walk an hour later he is usually in deep sleep. That is probably right about when Husband leaves for work.
There are many reasons this behavior is unacceptable. My top three are the fact we are not wealthy enough to pay for alimony to all the pretty canine females on our block, that he resembles a bear and there are people with guns and hunting permits among us and that my Husband is a law abiding member of society.
There are many reasons Little J and I are willing to turn the blind eye to this behavior. Top three being the fact that he already went for a walk so we can stay in our pajamas until 10 AM minimum, that we think our dog is rad and as such he can do no wrong and that by endorsing this behavior we rebel against Daddy. OK, the last one is all mine, but any wife will confirm that is the fun part of marriage.
The dog has a chain that is longer then most streets in Monaco. In fact it is not even a chain, more like a fashionable nylon accessory in a bright red color. We have unanimously decided Big M must be leashed when we go to sleep and released when we wake up. But I am the last one to go to bed. Just look at this face:
I rest my case.
Would you chain Big M?
Would you chain Big M?