I sat down many hours ago, after I tucked Little J in for the night to write about something fun. For the past couple of days my son showed signs of a cold. He has had many since he started preschool, part of growing up they say. By nature I am not a worrier and after all a cold is a cold. Old folks say it comes and goes.
Not long after I kissed him good night he started coughing. Horribly and uncontrollably, followed by crying and calling me. This was the first time ever that my kiss could not make the pain go away. I tried everything that worked in the past to provide comfort but I admitted defeat. I came downstairs and raided the cupboards. Recently I read in another mommy blog that the one medicine you need you are sure to be short on. Yep, I drove out to the supermarket looking for something, anything to make my boy better. Just like shopping for food hungry I returned with a bag full of syrups. I chose a pain relief and a natural cough medicine and stashed the rest close by. He gulped it down and I stayed with him with a promise that it will all be better soon. Listening to him struggling to breath while I sang “you are my sunshine” for countless time was awful.
He has been quiet for last few hours. After the shock came realization. We are so lucky this is a first time ever I felt helpless, first time ever Little J was unwell enough for me to contemplate a trip to the hospital. But no matter how small the ailment, when your child is unwell the world falls apart.
Back in the day I was fearless. Not in a careless kind of way, I simply never knew anything that would scare me senseless. Now I am a mother and the thought of Little J ever suffering gives me unbearable pain. We all have many loves, my son is the one I will die for.
Now if you excuse me I will retire. For the first time I will be THE PILLOWJACKER in Little J’s bed. Just in case…