Monday listicle

By Stasha | Published May 16, 2011
This week the listicle comes from Alison. She is currently hosting Lovelinks, due to her victorious top ten list about Twitter. I am honored she wrote one for us too. Should you wish to share the fame and your list, click HERE.
Alison is a stay-at-home mom of a 16 month old toddler, who blogs to fill her limited time, and to save herself from going insane. Her writing spans subjects such as motherhood, such as this post where she talks about a toddler meltdown, she frequently talks about her son Monkey, and she has even written about how Twitter has ruined her life! She even dabbles in a little fiction, such as this post prompted by red writing hood at The Red Dress Club. Do check out her blog, Mama Wants This, like her on Facebook and follow her on Twitter.”

 

You’ve heard about the terrible twos I’m sure. Probably even lived them. I have come to believe that toddlers are armed with a manual on how to drive their mothers crazy. And this the the top 10 ways they do so.

10 Ways to Drive Your Mother Crazy

  • 1. Always pee on the floor AS SOON AS your mother removes your diaper. Not before, not after. The moment you’re naked, DO IT.

  • 2. Food is for throwing and smearing everywhere. Bonus points if you manage to get food into hard-to-clean places.

  • 3. Mom’s phone is your phone. Especially when it rings and it’s for your Mom. Don’t give it to her.

  • 4. Do really awesome things like walk or run, but as soon as Mom pulls out the camera, drop to all fours. This way, she will NEVER get a good shot of you walking or running.

  • 5. Stay up during nap times. No matter what your Mom does, don’t sleep. It will drive her nuts.

  • 6. When in public, throw a tantrum. Make sure it lasts at least 2 minutes for full effect.

  • 7. High chairs are a good place to practice climbing. It usually scares the hell out of your Moms.

  • 8. Do not co-operate when Mom takes you to the doctor, even if it’s just a regular check up. Refuse to get weighed or measured. For bonus points, scream every time the doctor tries to touch you.

  • 9. Watch Elmo. All day. Kick up a fuss if Mom tries to change the channel.

  • 10. When Daddy comes home, be a good boy/ girl. Behave perfectly. Coo to your Dad. Smile, laugh, be an angel. And watch Mom’s face. It’s a riot!

 

 

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27 Comments

  1. Posted May 15, 2011 at 16:38 by Ado | Permalink

    Twitter:
    I loved this! Hey do we all have the same child with the same Top 10 list? (PS: The Surgeon General warns that there is a direct correlation between too much Elmo and Mommy Brain.)
    Ado recently posted..Movies To Show Your Kids

  2. Posted May 15, 2011 at 16:51 by Alison@Mama Wants This | Permalink

    Twitter:
    Thanks for having me Stasha! This list was *easy* to write haha!
    Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Im over at The Good Life!

  3. Posted May 15, 2011 at 17:52 by mom2kiddos | Permalink

    Twitter:
    I hate it when they do #10! Makes the Hubs think we got it good with them the whole day! Urrrgh drives me crazy! Good List!
    mom2kiddos recently posted..Leaving My Kid Home Alone

  4. Posted May 15, 2011 at 21:47 by Erica M | Permalink

    Twitter:
    My personal favorite: pee or poop in the brand-spanking-new diaper I just put on your butt six seconds ago. Because nothing pleases my budget more than going through twice as many diapers than I would if you’d time your bathroom breaks a little better.
    Erica M recently posted..the princess- the frog and the panic attacks

  5. Posted May 16, 2011 at 00:52 by Jessica | Permalink

    Twitter:
    The toddler days are always so fun. I like to keep dogs around to clean up the food that gets thrown/spilled/smeared everywhere.
    Jessica recently posted..My mother’s day and Baby Steps

  6. Posted May 16, 2011 at 00:55 by Miel et Lait | Permalink

    Twitter:
    This post makes me a little less jealous of the mommies out there!
    Miel et Lait recently posted..Why I don’t vlog

  7. Posted May 16, 2011 at 05:28 by Elena | Permalink

    Twitter:
    What a great list. I feel like my son subscribes to this! ;)
    Elena recently posted..Tweet Tweet

  8. Posted May 16, 2011 at 06:20 by mommymommymommy | Permalink

    Your list took me back in time. My kids are older now, but to be honest, some of this stuff still happens, just on a grander scale.

  9. Posted May 16, 2011 at 06:34 by Galit Breen | Permalink

    Twitter:
    *Love* and so, so very true! Every. Single. One. XO
    Galit Breen recently posted..The Red Dress Club- Gluttony

  10. Posted May 16, 2011 at 06:35 by mominrome | Permalink

    Ahahha!!
    This is so funny!!

    I haven’t experienced that yet…but I am pretty confident that I will soon…
    heeeelp !!
    mominrome recently posted..Country Weekend

  11. Posted May 16, 2011 at 07:10 by KLZ | Permalink

    food lodged deep inside an ear is my least favorite. How do you get that out??
    KLZ recently posted..30 Rock- My World- A Guest Post

    • Posted May 16, 2011 at 07:41 by Stasha | Permalink

      I’ll take your food in the ear and raise you a piece of board book in the nose. If you think your toddler is cute when he wants to read before a nap around Monkey’s age, don’t. They just want ammunition for stuffing.

    • Posted May 16, 2011 at 22:14 by Alison@Mama Wants This | Permalink

      Twitter:
      Good question, how indeed? I really don’t want to find out…
      Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Guest Star- Ilana from Mommy Shorts

  12. Posted May 16, 2011 at 07:30 by tracy@sellabitmum | Permalink

    Twitter:
    Somehow, someway, someday…Elmo must die. I would love to write that episode for Sesame Street.
    tracy@sellabitmum recently posted..I am wearing pants today

  13. Posted May 16, 2011 at 09:59 by Linda Medrano | Permalink

    These are pretty hysterical and oh so true!
    Linda Medrano recently posted..Remember the 8th Commandment

  14. Posted May 16, 2011 at 10:28 by jacqui | Permalink

    Twitter:
    I love this list! I’m surprised there was nothing about taking off your own diaper and using the contents as paint for your walls, crib, etc., while you are supposed to me napping. Or am I the only one who ever encountered such a situation??
    jacqui recently posted..Whatever- Urban Dictionary…

  15. Posted May 16, 2011 at 11:55 by liz | Permalink

    I have had to lay down the law about the phone. Granted, both my girls are older, so you can explain and reason with them to a degree. But they are about 2 steps away from losing phone app privileges entirely.
    liz recently posted..Why I Don&8217t Vlog- A Vlog

  16. Posted May 16, 2011 at 13:26 by RachelJoy | Permalink

    #10 Hhahahahah…this used to happen until mommy upped her game! Yes! Now the children fear us both…mwahhahahaha.

  17. Posted May 16, 2011 at 13:42 by Ryan (The Woven Moments) | Permalink

    Twitter:
    The diaper one gets me EVERY. TIME. The only thing that makes it worse is that my daughter waits until we are on the carpet to pee. Never ever on the hardwood floor where clean up is easier.
    Ryan (The Woven Moments) recently posted..Our marriage is like a bug

  18. Posted May 17, 2011 at 09:06 by Theresa | Permalink

    Twitter:
    What is it with them being all good as soon as daddy gets home. It infuriating really.
    Theresa recently posted..Its been a good year- Momma…

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  1. By Alison’s baby bash on April 25, 2012 at 00:22

    [...] is my gift to you dear friend. You have been my longest bloggy buddy, my first guest list maker and an all around modern pen pal. I know you are Pinterest mad and we have created a board for you [...]

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